Each of us has our own perspective: a different vantage point and a unique perception and interpretation. There are things we can see that others cannot – and there are things that others can see, often quite clearly, that we cannot.
There is a blind spot in each of our eyes (where the optic nerve connects) – and an even bigger one in our minds (where we are often completely unaware and unable to see or even imagine what is “obvious” to others).
Regardless of lighting, angle, distance, position or actual visual acuity, depth perception, and color discrimination, humans do not really see with their eyes. The brain flip flops the images, fills in the perceived missing pieces and “overlooks” and omits much of what is really there. We see most readily what we look for and are already able to accept. There is also much that we cannot see – at all. It is as if it is “invisible” (at least to us).
We are all essentially blind – to what may matter most: much of what is within others (and ourselves). I encourage you to consciously OPEN your eyes – and your heart. Actively look for and find the good, the great, the best, and/or what you like and appreciate in others and then TELL them – often. Just as important, pay attention to what others may be trying to tell you.
Before we can achieve, we must conceive and believe. What we tell ourselves and believe creates our self-image and to a large extent determines not only how we see ourselves but ALL of our priorities and (re)actions. Our thoughts affect how we feel and lead to our actions and, thus, tend to determine (what is “possible” in) our “results”. Often what we (choose to) tell ourselves (most) is merely repeating something someone else has said or told us. It may have been true or false, positive or negative, empowering or discouraging. All that matters is that we believe it.
I encourage people to be more conscious and in control of what they choose to put into and allow to come out of their mouth (and mind). The word “recall” can only “bring back” rather than “take back” something said, regardless of whether it was helpful or harmful. Even when recorded, words once spoken can not be “recalled” – except in the memories of those who heard them. Wounds from words are often far worse and remembered far longer than those from sticks and stones. It is probably best not to say anything you would not write out and sign your name to.
Thoughts and ideas have been called “memes” or “mind viruses”. They are contagious. We can infect and affect others. What we think, say and do may matter as much in other people’s lives and future as it does in our own. We are often unaware of how (much) we affect other people’s moods, opinions and actions – in the moment and sometimes long after.
The power and influence of another person’s physical presence, smile and touch is well known. Less recognized, but perhaps even more impactful and needed is the more basic “triple A” – and I don’t mean baseball, the American Automobile Association, Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm, Anti-Aircraft Artillery, or even Affinities, Affiliations and Affirmations. I am referring to Attention, Acceptance, and Appreciation. I believe they are what people tend to lack, desire and respond to most.
Each of us is unique, special, and needed. Each of us has something that NO other can contribute. If/when we do not share or allow others to, we all “lose” something irreplaceable. In some ways, we are like pieces in the giant jigsaw puzzle of life. We are often dependent on other pieces to be in place in order for us to find ours. And others may need us to put our piece in place in order to find where they belong.
It is only together that our lives really “matter”. We are all “apiece” – in search of peace (of mind). In Hebrew, the word “shalom” means not only “peace“, but also “whole”. To NOT be “whole” doesn’t sound very “healthy”. In English, the word “health” is also derived from the word “whole”. I think we would all feel a whole lot better (about just about everything and everyone, including ourselves) if more people shared the good that they can see that others for some reason cannot.
YOUR positive comments and kudos are welcome and encouraged.
Anything worth doing is worth doing. Period. Even badly…at first – until you get it right. The ideal would be to do it right and to do it now.
It’s always the right time to do the right thing.
It’s more important to do the right things than to do things right.
Do the best you can, with what you have, from where you are.
Leave an uplifting, positive comment NOW!
Then come back later and do it again (and again)…. 😉
© 2009 – 2011, Oren Pardes. All rights reserved.