Because Losers Always Make Excuses

It seems increasingly common today for people unhappy with life or their situation to BLAMEBecause Losers Always Make Excuses. This seems just as true in people’s personal lives as it is in politics.

Even many “successful” people with “positive” attitudes seem to BLAME those not as “successful” as they are for not assuming “responsibility” – for their values, choices, actions, and results (apparently assuming we all have complete, or at least considerable, control over our options and outcomes).

If our Emergency Medical System thought like this, then very few would ever be helped. Those in need of “outside assistance” obviously “failed” to prevent their illnesses or injuries – and don’t seem to be taking “full responsibility” to care for themselves (on their own). If their lives were “important enough” to them, shouldn’t they regain consciousness, start breathing, and stop bleeding on their own? Many people “treated” for a “complaint” don’t even (ever) pay at all, let alone in advance, for the “aid” they seek, need, and receive (first).

None of us may be “entitled” to anything in life, yet why deny those in need?

ALL of us benefit(ed) from and REQUIRE(D) input and assistance from others (often on an ongoing basis throughout our lives). Often the best way to help ourselves is to help others – who may not even know what they really need.

Those who BLAME put those who merely complain to shame. The BLAME Game is usually one in which no one can win. Excuses and finger-pointing tends to result in lose-lose-lose for all. Affixing BLAME doesn’t fix problems.

Whatever perceived problems exist always seem to be someone else’s fault (as if the person blaming had no more responsibility than for an earthquake). The only solution or action proposed to change things is usually to punish or get rid of the individual(s) or group accused of being “accountable” for all ills, errors, injustices, and inequities. Being “responsible” does NOT mean simply assuming or being assigned credit or BLAME; it means the ability to respond.

The best response is NOT to affix BLAME (especially elsewhere), but simply change, correct, and/or fix what we can, as best we can, whenever we can.

Don’t BLAME! Don’t be a Loser! Be a Learner helping others WIN with you!

To WIN, reach out, respond, and help others – and do whatever you can, whenever you can, for whomever you can, to make the world better for all.

That’s my perspective. What’s yours?

© 2011, Oren Pardes. All rights reserved.

Oren Pardes

Oren Pardes has written 73 post in this blog.

Life, News & Politics, Relationships , ,

5 responses to Because Losers Always Make Excuses

  1. Oren Pardes

    Although “Oren” means “ears” in Dutch, I seem to have Vincent van Gogh’s (left) ear for BLAME – not deaf, but willing to cut it off. A single “ear” in Dutch is “or”. This implies a choice in English. In Hebrew, “or” means light. A more enlightening choice than BLAME is to correct and continue. It matters less who is “responsible” than what the response is. I’d appreciate a “response” to my post.

  2. Sonia

    This was great because I have seen this too many times and still do. I realized the “blame game” when I would hear people I knew or didn’t know complain all the time. Sure we all do it, but being pessimistic and optimistic is too different things.

    We all have a choice in how we view and think each and every day. Either you’re going to have a good day or crappy day. It’s either one or the other. You can’t have both, but some people do their best to try and have both.

    Life happens and the cards we are dealt aren’t always in our favor, but how you choose to respond to it, think about it and ultimately deal with it is the deciding factor if the ‘blame game” will come out of your mouth too. It’s learning experience I think we will be learning till we die, but we can try to avoid it can’t we?

    Great post Oren!

  3. Steve Nicholas

    Great post, Oren! You are so right about what happens when we always play the victim. I’m not saying that there aren’t things out there that legitimately aren’t someone’s fault, but I have none some people who love to play the victim so much that they even end up putting themselves in situations where they know they will get hurt just so they can have something to complain about.

  4. Oren Pardes

    Thank for sharing, Steve! Like earthquakes, humans have faults – but that does not mean they are to BLAME (for what they do or do not do). Correct and continue! Making “mistakes” often brings (hidden) “benefits” and opportunities – if we look for, allow for, and are willing to accept them. Accountability and responsibility (especially when something goes “wrong”) a have little to do with “credit” or BLAME. They are both more about honesty and actions regarding results of previous outcomes. Please come back and comment again (on one or more of my other blog posts).

  5. Oren Pardes

    Welcome to my site, Sonia! Glad you liked the post. Your feedback and perspective are much appreciated.

    Interesting analogy of about “the cards we are dealt”. The possibilities, probabilities, and predictability of life can vary considerably.. Risk is inherent. Gambling games make good metaphors.

    In the game of poker, the cards we have don’t necessarily determine the outcome – as much as how others react to how we play (and the cards THEY have). Bluffing is not a strategy to use often – especially in real life. Either way, we always have a choice to check, bet, fold, call, or raise – and act as if will we expect the outcome we desire. It is not what we do once that matters as much as what we do most.

    In the game of craps, it is possible for people to win or lose on any given roll of the dice – no matter how they land. We cannot control the dice – and they are NEVER to BLAME. We choose when, where, how, and how much to bet (or not) – and why.

    Good gamblers win more than they lose, but know that NOT winning is an inherent part of the game (and often required to for them to eventually win). They also know when to stop. Casinos usually have signs posted informing people of the expected costs associated with each game – and advise them that if they expect to simply win or cannot accept not doing so, they should call for help – because they have a problem,.

    You can’t really “lose” if you learn – but many people seem to lose all they have, including integrity, respect, and perspective – not only because of a gambling addiction but as the result of BLAME for how they live life,

    Much of what I write is the result of what “occurs” to me while responding to others, Thank you for the unexpected ideas that came to me while responding to your comment. I hope you will contribute your thoughts on some of my other posts as well.

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