Do You Have A Deficit Relationship?

There is a lot of talk today about “deficits” (and what is perceived and proclaimed as “lacking”, or “not enough”, in some way). Most people are aware of a growing “budget deficit” and increasing “attention deficit”. But, is there really a deficit (problem) at all – or just a difficulty in our default definition, distribution, and allocation of assets and resources?

In-sourcing and out-sourcing are now far more common than (more needed) re-sourcing – especially since we are the “source” of all we perceive to begin with. Creating a “credit crunch” is a re-active, retractive, and contractive symptom, rather than an expansion, exploration, expression, or exclamation (of trust and/or hope). “GREATNESS” is E – X – P – A – N – S – I – V – E (and bold); NOT contractive (and/or petty).

Rather than re-signing ourselves to accepting a design of distrust and insecurity as the basis of our lives, we would all be better served by adopting an attitude of gratitude and abundance. “GREATNESS” is simply making the most of the time, space, energy, attention, and resources available, accessible, and/or allowed. Recreation need not be a vacation (or leaving) but the reinvention, or return to who and what we really are (capable of).

The popularly perceived and promoted shortfalls are relative and comparative to some arbitrary but absolute quantity without regard to what is really possible, or even probable, let alone desirable. Constipative withholding is a false assertion that there is a lack of funds, flow, and willpower to cooperate and create win-win-win possibilities for all.

An increase in deficits is like defecation. It is a sign that there is MORE, rather than less, than can be assimilated, and that we have not yet figured out how to fully utilize and integrated all that is available. What must be eliminated are not options for greatness, but the crap that is taught and too many have come to believe that keep us small and separated from each other and our (as yet untapped and unrealized) potential.

It has been said that what lies behind us and before us pales in comparison to what lies within us. Perhaps that is the problem – and one place there seems to be no deficit: the number and power of the lies within us. Most people are not awake, aware or conscious enough to really be called liars, but they are often deceiving themselves and others with beliefs that distort reality, dissipate energy, delay progress, and dis-empower anyone who accepts them (as true).

Denial is not a place or a state; it is an action, which repeated frequently enough becomes an addictive habit. Inflation, deflation, and stagnation are terms that apply as much to our egos as they do to artificially induced financial situations.

We each have (more than) enough unresolved internal conflicts and friction between different parts of our “triune” (3-part) brain and aspects of our personality (and associated needs, drives, and desires) to allow additional and intentional interference with reaching some kind of alignment, consensus, congruency, and synergistic harmony that brings out the best in each and all of us whereby we are better together than separately/alone/apart.

We are and/or become what we seek, teach, think about, do, and pay attention to. We are the source of all we perceive. We are enough. And there is always enough – for us (and others). When we believe it, we will see it – and can share it (from a place of overflowing abundance).

The vast majority of humans have moved away from (practically self-sufficient, yet highly socially connected and interdependent) nomadic (hunter-gatherer/herding) lifestyles to a highly domesticated life in (mainly more crowded individually alienating, anonymous industrial) cities. Although technology and the concentration of (political and economic) power have brought some “freedom” not previously possible, they also have created a conformity and dependence that promote and perpetuate indentured servitude and virtual slavery.

How and where do you live? Do you come from not enough (scarcity), just enough, or more than enough (abundance)?

Most people today live in Scare-City (rather than Authentic-City – or outside of a city altogether). Scarcity is a frame of reference in (and out of) which we make choices. Most people (especially city dwellers) start their days thinking that they did not get enough sleep, go through their days thinking that there is not enough time, and end their days thinking they did not get enough done.

Perception is projection. Perceiving a lack of something is simply a blind spot, it is an inability to see, comprehend, or appreciate all there is. We each have blind spots in our vision and our thinking. Turning our head isn’t always enough. It is usually with and/or through others that we finally can see what we previously could not and were often completely unaware of. The more people learn and grow, the more they usually realize how much they do not know. But people really do not know what they do not know.

Ignorance may be bliss; but it seldom is. What one resists, usually persists. Pain is the ultimate experience and expression of resistance (to what is). Simply not knowing is never the (real) problem; it is resistance (to learning, changing, or just accepting what is, leading to the persistence of undesirable, unworkable, unsustainable and ultimately painful ways of thinking and being).

What we focus on expands. What we give energy grows. What we push against pushes back. Rather than fighting (for or against), struggling or increasing conflict, it would be easier and more efficient to simply get out of the way and redirect all available energy toward something mutually beneficial. The first step is almost always acceptance and appreciation (of what is – and what is not). Appreciation means to increase in value. As our values shift, so does everything else….

Pain is simply resistance (to what is/happening). By yielding, allowing, and accepting, or recognizing, redirecting, and redefining our perception, experience, and actions we can eliminate any pain (as it emerges). Acting with awareness regarding whatever emerges prevents our fear(s) from creating a (far more) painful and preventable emergency.

Pain, like everything else known, is a form of energy. An e-motion is energy in motion. E-motional pain and hurt in the present is usually experienced as sadness. When that e-motional energy/experience of pain, hurt and sadness from past is ongoing, unresolved and experienced in the present, it comes out as anger, resentment, and/or rage.

Fear is anticipation of pain (in the future – experienced prematurely and unnecessarily in the present). All fear is ultimately the fear of not being able to handle it. Extreme fear is terror. Terrorism is the exploitation and manipulation of people’s fears for some kind of gain. Pain tends to be a far more powerful motivator than pleasure.

Of six of the strongest (outside) perceptual influences of human behavior: social proof, consistency, reciprocity, authority, liking, and scarcity, (fear-based) scarcity is by far the easiest and most powerful to employ. Yet a ploy revealed is no longer a ploy. Of the six, the perception of scarcity is also the least real.

The opposite of love is not hate, but fear. Courage (or cour-age) is the time of allowing the (love and passion of the) heart to act in spite of fear (and doubt). Fear is actually a cry for love. We must encourage each other and ourselves to meet and transform fear with love.

Humans are born with only two fears: falling and sudden loud noises. All other fears are learned and acquired – and not always by some unpleasant experience. Many are taught. Once created, installed, programmed, and conditioned, fears (and those who know how to use them for their advantage) often control us.

One way to rid ourselves of our many fears is simply to admit and face them – enough that we realize that we can cope and deal with them. Mastering fear does not mean never feeling afraid, it simply means not letting it control or stop us.

The most powerful force in our universe is neither love nor compound interest, but what we tell ourselves – and believe. Believing that we are enough and that there is enough for all is all that is needed to make it so, not only in our hearts and minds, but also in our reality and relationships.

Society is a largely unconscious unexamined belief system. We are socialized around words and (associated) images. Yet few of us really think about what these words and images really mean. The words we use, especially when talking to ourselves, determine the thoughts, emotions, expectations, actions, results and responses we are capable of.

Form and function are interrelated; each determined by what the other requires or allows. Questions tend to determine the answers possible. A subtle change in language or beliefs can often shift, transform or even transcend what previously existed or was possible. We must not allow fear or scarcity based words, thoughts or beliefs to guide our imagination.

Our imaginations are very powerful – and just as often hinder us as much as help us. If there is a mismatch between the conscious mind and our imagination, the imagination (and our emotions) will almost always ultimately prevail. Choose to imagine good things – for yourself and others.

People are sometimes told to get out of their heads and to stop thinking. Yet, very few people ever truly think at all. Henry Ford called thinking the hardest work anyone could do, which is why so few ever engage in it. When people don’t THINK, they are also usually not (as) Thankful, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary and/or Kind.

Like meditation, thinking usually requires quiet conscious concentration, yet has a cumulative effect and can be done anywhere. I encourage you to do more thinking (for yourself), rather than less – either letting others do it for you, or simply running on auto-pilot from your currently installed programming.

Are you aware of what (supportive or sabotaging) thought structures or belief systems run you (forward or in circles)? Are they the ones you desire/choose?

People talk about (paper/fiat) money like it is a form of energy, but energy cannot be created nor destroyed, while (printed and digital) money is constantly being created out of nothing and not only taken out of circulation but also existence.

Most money today is actually an instrument of debt, rather than a true currency of exchange backed by anything of real value. The interest owed that can never be repaid to the fractional banking system that lends out money it does not have is one of the major reasons for so many problems and inequities in the world today.

Malthus, Darwin, and Marx were wrong! The purpose of economics and evolution is not about the fittest surviving, but of everyone thriving. Real wealth and success is much more than financial buying power and accumulation of supposedly limited resources. Adding value is being, doing, and/or having more with less.

Instead of focusing on the allocation, distribution, and consumption of rigidly defined finite resources, with scarcity determining their value and significance, we would all benefit from realizing that (win-win) cooperation always trumps (win-lose) competition. There is enough for all. There is no need to hoard, not share, or actively prevent others from fulfilling their needs in order for anyone else to meet and maintain theirs.

More and more people are finally beginning to realize that products and services are not the (only) basis of exchange or of worth. Information, experience, and transformation are finally being recognized as emerging, and potentially bigger, more powerful, economies. Social networks are fast becoming the new alternative standard of net worth.

Business is really busy-ness. What busy-ness are you in? What support do you need? What can others do for you? More importantly, what can you do for others? Will you choose life as a zero sum competitive game of win-lose (or worse yet, lose-lose) or will you search for a more cooperative, collaborative, and synergetic win-win-win approach, with (more than) enough for all? How are you going to play win-win in what appears to be a win-lose world? What kind of rules and relationships will you create, accept, tolerate and/or insist upon?

The world is waiting for your love and all that (only) you have to offer. You are here for a reason (and what you think, say, and do makes a difference) – even if you do not know what it is.

Precession describes the (butterfly/ripple) effect a body in motion has upon other bodies in motion. Our true purpose, legacy, and benefit for others is usually most clear at a 90-degree perpendicular angle to whatever direction we are focusing on, traveling, and/or moving toward. A “wake” is an appropriate term for the celebration of the life of a person’s effect on others – who are now “awake” to it.

Who are you (really)? Answering this question can be quite challenging. Wake up! And don’t be “NICE” (Nothing Inside Cares Enough)! Move, touch, and inspire others to do the same. Create a movement in more than just your bowels. LIVE! And leave any crap that does not serve you and others behind.

Life is movement. We classify life by the way if moves. Balance and harmony are not constant states but a resolution of coexisting or fluctuation between extremes (of any given continuum). While static is sometimes used to refer to the “cling” of an electrical charge or interference in communication transmission or reception, it actually implies lack of life and cessation of movement. That is why the dead are often referred to as “deceased”.

Supposedly, there are no straight lines in our (one song/vibrational) universe; only (interconnected and unending) waves (of pulsating energetic vibration). Frequently “wavering”, oscillating, and going through “cycles” is natural and to be expected. What is important is to overcome inertia (and entropy) and keep moving.

Any given vibrational wave frequency attracts, repels, or cancels out other wave vibrations. The currently popular (Secret) Law of Attraction is based on this. Less talked about is the Law of Deserving.

Until people accept that there is enough for themselves and everyone else – and that everyone deserves to have their needs met – it is very difficult to attract and manifest one’s highest individual potential. It is impossible to create synergy (where the result is greater than the sum of the parts) alone.

Responsibility is the ability to respond. It is something we must advocate rather than abdicate; accept and embrace rather than reject and run away from. The most important relationship we have, and the one that affects all others, is the one we have with ourselves. Will yours be based in fear, scarcity, and insecurity or abundance, unconditional love, and ongoing (mutual) support?

Fill wherever you are with your essence. You are a blessing – especially to those still living in Scare-City. Share yourself generously. What you get in return may be far more than you could currently imagine or hope for.

For things (or others) to change, first we must change. Unlike a decision, which cuts off any other possibility, a choice allows for the existence of many options to be available, employed, and/or incorporated as needed.

When, where, how and/or even why you change is optional. That you do and its potential effect on others may not be. Choose wisely. Or at least re-choose frequently enough to allow yourself to discover the best/most appropriate option(s) for you, your life, circumstances, and effect upon your present and future world and those around you) at any given time. Remember, you are, have, and offer enough – and the world needs you. Wake up. Show up. Share.

Do not hide from those who can see you; they can see you. Do not hide from those who cannot see you; they cannot see you. My desire is to see more of you.

When are you? Stuck in the past? Fantasizing about the future? Or fully present?

Where are you now? Nowhere? No where? Now here?

Whenever and wherever you are, know that you can choose to change anywhere anytime you desire.

There is no scarcity of opportunity.

Unfortunately, most people tend not to change simply by knowing that there is a better option; they change when they perceive that they have no other option.

Hopefully, something I have written and you have read here perturbed you enough to begin a transformation of some kind: a change over which you will not get.

Either way, I truly value and thank you for being open and willing to read this far and would greatly appreciate any comment you may choose to post and share.

© 2008 – 2015, Oren Pardes. All rights reserved.

Oren Pardes

Oren Pardes has written 73 post in this blog.

Life, Relationships , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

1 response to Do You Have A Deficit Relationship?

  1. Pingback: Relationship Priorities: Who comes FIRST? - Movin2gether Movin2gether Relationship Priorities: Who comes FIRST? - Movin2gether | In Music, Dance, Business, Life, and Relationships

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge