Yes or No? Maybe – Neither or Both. We don’t always know – the best response. There are almost always more options than we are initially aware of. Sometimes too many or too few alternatives is a problem.
To decide means to kill off any other alternative. Unlike choosing, which simply selects a personal preference and may preserves possibilities (for another time), deciding eliminates all other options. Clarity of criteria is extremely helpful, but not always essential, when choosing or deciding.
- The main reason most people do not get what they want in life is that they do not know what they want. ~ T. Harv Eker
Some people assert anything not a clear “hell yes” be considered a “hell no”. A disadvantage with this thinking, besides a belief in and emphasis on Hell, is that many things we might not instantly say “yes” to may be something we later discover we like or benefit from most – if we do not simply say “no”.
Some people find it a challenge to say “no” and quickly become overwhelmed or unable to keep commitments. Others are more reluctant to say “yes” – to almost anything they are offered in life – and miss many ideal opportunities.
When presented with anything new or different or uncomfortable, most people tend to at first say “no”. It may take them a while to get into their comfort zone. It is not unusual for people to say “no” six times before they will say “yes”. This is important to remember when asking – even yourself.
Rather than simply say “no” – or accept that as a final response from others, consider the possibility of it being Not now; Maybe later. Even what at any given time may be clearly ruled out may at another time be reconsidered.
- A “no” often means one of three things is needed for a “yes“:
1. Ask someone else.
2. Ask another time.
3. Asking another way.
Who is asked what when how often makes a big difference. Whether asking or answering, be aware that how something is asked often determines the answer. Pay particular attention to the question or offer or opportunity itself before rushing to respond. Be sure it’s clear, complete, and comprehended.
Regardless of what you or anyone else may choose or decide, remember to ASK or offer or reconsider again – as often as necessary – to ensure getting what is wanted, needed, and desired – and that what is most sought is found (or created) on the road to success. That’s my perspective. What’s yours?
© 2012, Oren Pardes. All rights reserved.